The night of my first chemo treatment was one of the worst of my life running a very close second to the night my husband was killed. I remember being home alone laying on the couch when the worst headache of my life began. The pain was so intense I was crying. It was all centered right above my eyes...

I injured my knee while napping on Wednesday.  (Who gets injured napping?)  Still super painful on Thursday, Shannon pushed me into my doctor’s office in a wheelchair.  The cause of the pain is still a mystery.  We joked with my doc that it’s H1N1 in my knee, or a very new and original...

Fear is something I have experienced much of in the last nine years since my diagnosis, and my feeling is that it is not something that I “surmount” or “overcome”, but something that I go “through”.  It is not always pleasant, and coming out on the other side is...

During my first cancer treatment I was scared and in pain. I wanted hope and an escape, reassurance and strength. It came in the mail. I received a hand written letter full of empathy and understanding from a guy named Brian. He had suffered from Crohn’s disease and knew what it was like to feel...

I often hear that people live more fully after having a life threatening illness, doing things they have never done before. Not me. Since going through cancer treatment, I have a whole new relationship to physical risk. I just cannot stand it. I used to love hiking – scrambling up rocky hillsides,...

My mom and dad drove to Chicago for an impromptu Labor Day weekend visit.  My mom sat by my computer this morning as I checked my email.  We began a conversation about Wendy Harpham’s blog post on “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Cancer not only sucks for me, but it hugely sucks...

The first part of my medical journey is about neurology, epilepsy, and uncertainty. I have found that uncertainty is scarier than a diagnosis, even when the diagnosis is brain cancer. This story is about my first two seizures and what they felt like. It is important for me to tell this story because...

A few weeks ago at my OT job I had the opportunity to work with a centurian.  At 100 years old this man was still on his feet, taking care of most his own needs, and very willing to participate in his rehab.  Whenever I work with those super old patients I become very inquisitive.  I wonder about...

  I was surprised I grabbed my camera that morning. I hadn’t so much as touched it in a while. And I am not sure why. Photography has become a needed hobby of mine. Something necessary to keep me grounded. It is something I started a short time before my cancer diagnosis and during my treatment...

When I’m feeling sick, scared, or overwhelmed by my health, I don’t want friends or family bullshitting me and telling me that everything is going to be fine. It only makes me feel worse.  In fact it makes me want to smack them. I got a facebook message today from the wife of a young adult cancer...