Blogs-contributors, Dan Waeger — By on April 16, 2009 at 5:03 am

Grief is an intensely personal journey. No two people cope the same way. However, I think everyone that grieves searches for something to make themselves feel better. And in the early months, it can pretty disappointing when nothing really makes you feel any better. I can see how people might figure- what’s the use? So I take a different approach. Instead of searching for the elusive “feel-good” moment, I reason with myself that trying various activities won’t actually make me feel worse. So if something isn’t going to make me feel worse, I figure it’s worth a shot.

So I’ve been at the gym pretty regularly. And even though I want to be lazy, I know that moving around for an hour or two won’t ever make me feel worse. Well, that was until yesterday when, within 30 seconds of working out with my trainer, I came down too hard on a jump and tweaked something in my back. It’s nothing serious, but how annoying! The worst part is that is made me short of breath as inhaling makes it hard to breathe. So all day yesterday I did nothing but pop advil and watch tv. I was so irritated that on a day when I had a bunch of things planned that wouldn’t make me feel worse (gym, massage, laundry), the fates had a different plan. I just had to sit there and do nothing.

I don’t really have that much to complain about in terms of an injury. I was up and monving gingerly today, though I won’t be lifting weights this week. But as I sat there yesterday, I found myself thinking of all the days I would call Dan from work. He’d be on the couch watching TV, feeling lousy. And wishing he could just get up and do regular things. It was another “a-ha” moment. I wonder how many times Dan did things just because they wouldn’t make him feel any worse. Everything was always worth a shot. For him, those long days weren’t a gift. Just like for me, time isn’t always a gift. It just needs to pass.

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